woot!

you know your parents hired some1 when you come home to a cleaner house and sounds of cooking in the kitchen.

bad dreams

now i was in the middle of devouring an experiment involving peppery mexican flavors (pic) and checking my email on my phone when he called from his hospital bed in a colder country. he sounded shaken and tired after waking up from another bad dream, and i didn't know what to tell him to comfort him.

his nightmares are possibly worse than the 1s i had when i went through depression 2 years ago and when i became sick early this year. if he wakes up screaming from them, then they must be seriously frightening dreams.

when i think of it, they're seriously frightening dreams! once he shared that he dreamt of watching himself lying on his hospital bed from a door. it disturbed me as i don't want him to die yet.

why he's having nightmares is a mystery to me. i don't know if it has anythng to do with his uncle shooting himself in the head in front of him in his childhood, or it has something to do with his approaching heart surgery... i don't know.

how i wish there's some1 to watch over him to wake him up from the nightmares and stuff. his family doesn't know he's in a hospital (as he doesn't want to worry his mother), so he obviously can't ask them. i'd gladly volunteer to help, if only i didn't have this long list of responsibilities in my face...

this friend is dear to me and i kind of owe him for bringing me sunshine during these dark days. i would love to do the same for him.

it's just that, like every1 i care about, he's far and i'm not so good with words.

the other scorpio in the family

just home from my no-longer-so-little-brother's birthday dinner.



some1's happy to be finally legal! lol.

my birthday

(oops, i forgot to click on "publish post" again!)

today more than 5 people asked about how i spent my birthday and if i was happy. it's just weird for me as no1's ever asked me those sort of questions before.

well...

yesterday was just another day, except that i ran late to work for falling back asleep soon after waking up to the sound of my alarm; i was still sick; there was a happy birthday powerpoint playing on my computer when i arrived at the office; some colleagues were extra nice during the day; and my older students were sweet to make me feel appreciated.

after my shift i walked to a nearby restaurant, in the lightest rain, to get lots of mexican food to take home to the family. the house was empty when i arrived. i kind of forgot we no longer have maids to help us with our things at home and that my younger siblings were back in school after the school break.

online i went, to talk with a best friend i haven’t even met in person yet. i checked my inbox, too, to find a flooding of another kind in my facebook "wall". just receiving 2 happy birthday text messages, i didn’t think more people would greet me. so i'm feeling some lurve, thanks to facebook's automatic birthday reminders! haha.

my mother took me to church in the evening, where 1 of her friends from rome gave me a gold pendant with a beata’s image. i ate more of the mexican take out when we got home, and had a wonderful and interesting conversation over the phone with my ex (for lack of a better word/i don't even know what to call it!) before bed.

no cake and no presents, and i think i was genuinely happy—happier than past birthdays.

big THANKS to the lovely people who wished me a happy birthday here!

lists

list 1

• despite being sick, i had to get up really early for work
• i realized that i haven't done any homework and paperwork as i just slept the other night (r.i.p., deadline!)
  
• without maids/enough time and energy to help my mother, i had to eat something fried (a.k.a. unhealthy but easy to prepare) for breakfast yet again
• my secret favorite student, judy, got transfered to another teacher for changing her class schedule
  

list 2

• my superiors let me sleep in between my classes and gave me some fever and flu medicine
• my students were really good to me and in class today
• a mystery person put a blanket over me while i was sleeping during lunch (people i asked said they didn't do it and think it's sweet but creepy that the person remains a mystery up to this hour!)
• beautiful thornless roses that endured a long land trip, a plane ride, and another land trip arrived at my doorstep just a few minutes after i got home:
  

• my mom got me some jewelry for birthday and gave them early:

so today wasn't as bad as i thought it would be. in fact, i'm feeling kinda blessed. i have my 2nd list to prove that there are more things in my little life to be thankful for than the flu, deadly deadlines, and fried food.