ouch, charlie

it was in the bath that i realized my favorite leather sandals scraped some of my skin off earlier today.



no wonder it was uncomfy walking around the mall in them.

killing time in the mall

the place was packed. in so long, i haven't been around that plenty of people—it was almost scary. school must be out (obviously, ace) as there were lots of teenagers being cute in colorful summer clothing. a poster with a caucasian guy in the ladies' room also hinted why there were more and more women coming in: some "heartthrob" was gonna have a concert in every1's new favorite part of the mall.

this cavewoman has never heard of the serenader, so i let it slide as cherries would slide down melting ice creammmm. my stomach was making funny sounds, anyway, so i had a mission to find a decent and quiet place to eat in. after getting my chocolate drink at a coffe shop, i ended up in a familiar restaurant (where servings have become petite people-friendly which made my voracious side a bit sad because i came there expecting to get a meal for an elephant—haha!).



people were arriving non-stop now and the world there was getting smaller and smaller. it wasn't at all hard not to get noticed for being weird, but a few old friends from school and work (some familiarity radar perhaps?) spotted me from a crowd, glass wall, and line, and stopped to say hi (some people are just really sweet, ne? so sweet, it breaks your heart!). those encounters were nice, especially because i like the people who bumped into this girl who gets lost in malls and whose only familiar routes are the 1s that lead to the cinemas...

and since i was already in the mall, didn't wanna be home, had an extra hour or so, enjoy pop corn, and found some interesting posters, i decided to watch something.



the pick was called "knowing" with nicolas cage. its plot was really good (and by "really good", i mean really gooooood); the movie was gripping and shocking and thrilling, i loved it... however... as much as i'd love to write about everything i loved about the film, i don't wanna spoil the experience for you (that is, if you're planning to watch it).

the musical scoring was nice, too.

after the movie—as if it's already a tradition of sorts—i got truffles to extend the little sparks of happiness i felt today. and helped a woman load her heavy grocery bags in a cab because the guys in line at the taxi stand were just looking.

mass wine

after earth hour we had 1 of those sweet-tasting spanish wines used in catholic masses (it was some sort of token from a priest).



now i'm just waiting to suddenly burst into a ball of fire for being sinful and taking in something holy, as people here would joke. lol!

media malpractice?

philippine mainstream media bug me. there are investigative tv shows that don't present enough evidence or 2 sides fairly and there are reporters who sound like they just accepted envelopes with money in them to mention happy things about brands.

when your job is to present the news to people, i strongly feel that you hold 1 of the most important functions in the world. 80-90% of those who consume your media will most likely believe or immediately consider what you're suggesting (if that's your angle's intention)...

journalists and reporters help shape societies' opinions and, at times, even leaders' decisions. if 1 is not balanced, careful, ethical, and responsible, the influence and power of the words they broadcast and/or publish could affect lives of millions big time.

even with better technology, training, and ways to cover current events and verify facts, i observed that some news stories still feel/look/sound incomplete (i.e., palin's sensible answers that never made it to aired interviews during the american elections) or blatantly sensationalized (i.e., suggestive headlines that attract interest but disappoint those who stick through an article as it turns out to be a totally different story in the end). this and being mostly depressingly negative (as if there's no more hope in the world) are 2 reasons why i often feel like i can't trust what comes out of local radio and tv (print is still more reliable).

don't get me wrong. 4 years with amazing teachers also working in the media deepened my regard for journalists. those years helped me develop realistically high expectations of those in the field, too, as they wouldn't be there if they didn't have above-average brains and skills...

what's disappointing, however, is how many media men (and in the influential mainstream) appear okay with "minor" inaccuracies, incomplete stories, the bad-news-is-good-news (as bad news sell) mentality, etc. while they should rise above malpractice, they keep making lame investigative tv programs and circulating sensationalized stories for the masses to feed on. and because of lack of options and channels for feedback, some people tend to look away or, as most filipinos do, continue consuming mainstream media... which could be another source of entertainment, if you don't take it seriously.

i know i have a lot of clothes...

but i still don't have anything to wear to my brother's graduation.

should i clean...

or watch zombies eat people?

cupcakes my brother brought

dictionary tag

tagged to go to urban dictionary to get definitions to my answers to the items in bold...

name: ace

excellent/very good in australian slang.
by VAKI5

age: 21

the age at which one is finally considered human.
by anonymous

1 of your friends: patty (thanks for tagging me!)

...another word for princess...
by Strawberry Cake

what should you be doing: saving the world

a harmless way for girls to describe monthly cycles without making guy friends feel awkward. i.e., "why are you so squinky, jennifer?" "sorry, i'm saving the world at the moment."
by Stephen W. Thomas

favorite color: gold

it means cool... i.e., "did you reach the jam last night?" "yeah, bro, it was gold."
by don't watch that ;)

favorite number: 8

...often used in place of the phonemes that would make the sound "ate" in written english... i.e., "i'd rather menstru8 a ten ton w8 than write in such an illiter8 way, dude."
by Stooo

month of your birthday: november

the month in which most babies are born and which, by chance, is exactly nine months after february. (i knew it. i knew it!)
by FloridaSp

last person you talked to: my dad (on the phone)

noun. kind of like george bush, but gay.
by jikope

1 of your nicknames: acey

an expression first discovered in ancient egypt... then translated by the inca tribe... used to describe a young lady who is stunningly beautiful, poise, classy, and gorgeous, while being very kind-hearted and down-to-earth... incredibly intelligent... (hahaha. i love this!)
by Cameron Jacobs

what you are wearing now: skirt

...we all know it's a female garment. however, if you go to a catholic school or any school with uniforms, you also know that it is a verb. "to skirt" someone is to come up behind them and pull the back of their skirts up, exposing their butts to whoever is behind them. it sucks to be skirted, but it's the best way to get revenge on someone/embarass the hell out of them... (for some reason, this reminds me of high school.)
by smokin' el

are you bored, looking for some fun, or just need something to fill your blog or facebook notes? can i tag you?

just ate a mountain

...of pepper rice and beefy goodness. and in a sizzling plate which i never expected to turn out to be bigger than my impossibly huge head. i swear it could feed 2 hungry people.

stuffed to the brim, i'm feeling guilty of gluttony and mild hedonism once again. this is what i like least about decievingly petite people-friendly-looking orders. haha.

but i won't deny it was a thumbs up, especially for the fun of getting to partly cook the meat yourself.






and because i accomplished today's mission, i got myself truffles as reward.



they're so good, they're almost miraculous! so far, they're weakening the pull (temptation) to make that arrogant, ill-mannered cab driver-from-hell lose his job and money with a phone call (i was really, really, really pissed under all the "diplomacy" inspired by a cool diplomat i met today). in other words: these truffles are keeping me from doing something very evil...

haha. thank god for belgian chocolate!

tired

after a long time of being unable to relax and rest right, at least i can sleep like real humans tonight.

on my chocolate cloud

after the movie, i dropped by 1 of my favorite pastry shops for some macarons i've been daydreaming about for the most part of the week.



it's heaven there. being surrounded by my favorite flavor in the world gets me floating up and away on a little chocolate cloud.



for the family i bought some out-of-this-world belgian truffles, which my younger sisters loved me for. haha.



happy, happy, happy! i'm happy i got my perfect chocolate macarons. tonight, i'll sleep with a little smile on my ugly face.

an alien movie and sausage crepe

since i was already in the mall, got all the stuff i needed, and am jaded with life, i decided to go on a movie date with myself. 1 problem, though: being the hermit that i am, i was clueless about films currently showing.

good thing the lady at the ticket counter was patient with me and even explained each flick's synopsis. i wanted to hug her, but people around would start looking at me like i've been dropped a lot as a child. haha. plus there was a big marble counter separating us like some protective wall for cinema attendants from weirdos like me, naturally.

the titles were interesting. it's just that clint eastwood isn't hunky anymore; and the marvel comic-turned-movie starts late; and the suspense movie about a dad and his kidnapped daughter had a familiar plot. i went for the disney movie with the rock...



and enjoyed it! it's a good family movie with flawless special effects and much action. now i even wish i brought my kid sister with me.

it was refreshing to see much, much better acting skills from the rock. i'm so proud. hahaha. (my younger siblings used to watch wrestling for reasons only they would understand and they liked the rock among other wrestlers with those macho screen names. he was the only wrester i liked and would likely remember—mostly for looking like a life-sized action figure. haha.) the girl from burton's "chocolate factory" and the boy from "the seeker" are just fantastic. they've grown much but are looking great. pair that with true skills, and you hold much promise as an actor.



for the movie, i got cheese-and-hungarian sausage crepe with some garnish and 1 of my favorites which is black forest-flavored pearl shake...

the crepe was simple and looked easy to make [i took pictures of the process but they're really blurred (my phone's camera doesn't have a fast shutter speed; and either i'm just slow or the crepe woman is that fast)], but surprisingly delightful: never in my wildest food dreams have i imagined hungarian sausage in it (very imaginative)!

but i'm not done yet (hehehe!): there was this mild hint of white cream cheese, too, which only makes my mouth water more when i think about it! *sighs* i could snack on another 1 now.

music as answers tag

tagged by 1 of my favorite teachers (*starstruck*) to answer the following using songs by 1 artist (i picked amy winehouse, by the way):

1. are you male or female: "what is it about men?"

2. describe yourself: "mr. magic"

3. how do you feel about yourself: "you know i'm no good"

4. describe your ex: "just friends" (lol!)

5. describe your current boy/girl situation: "to know him is to love him"

6. describe your current location: "in my bed"

7. describe where you want to be: "rehab"

8. your best friend is: "monkey man"

9. your favorite color is: "back to black"

10. you know that: "love is a losing game"

11. what’s the weather like: "stronger than me"

12. if your life was a television show what would it be called? "tears dry on their own" (telenovela!)

13. what is life to you: "some unholy war"

14. what is the best advice you have to give: "help yourself"

15. if you could change your name what would you change it to: "cupid"

please feel free to answer this taggie, too.

complete-the-sentence tag

carlotta tagged me (thanks, ate!) to complete these sentences:

1. my last kiss... was given by my mom.

2. i'm listening to... the rain.

3. i talk... much when i'm excited.

4. i love... being a closet emo kid? (lol!)

5. my friends... are beautiful and crazy.

6. my first real kiss... was very disorienting.

7. love is... stupid.

8. marriage is... only for the brave.

9. somewhere, someone is thinking... about world domination?!

10. i'll always... remain true to myself.

11. the last time i really cried was because... of broken promises.

12. my cell phone... rarely rings.

13. when i wake up in the morning... i pray for people i care about and go back to sleep.

14. before i go to bed... i pray and wish to never wake up again.

15. right now i'm thinking... of french macarons. mmmm!

16. babies are... the purest things in the world.

17. i get on facebook... when i'm bored and/or lonely.

18. today i... studied philippine history and watched "sweeny todd" (maaahhhn, it was disturbing) with my siblings on hbo.

19. tomorrow i'll be... busy again.

20. i really want to be... happy and healthy.

passing this on to every1 who's bored (like me)!

word/phrase association tag

tagged by a friend to type what comes to mind 1ST at the mention of these words:

1. beer: bouncing bellies

2. food: heaven in a plate

3. relationships: ?

4. your crush: could be gay

5. power rangers: can they breathe in those tight-fitting suits?

6. life: is what you make it

7. the president: mole (no offense, your excellency; they're tagging me to type in the 1st thing to come in mind)

8. yummy: jelly tongue (i miss the green apple 1)

9. cars: ****'s smooth volvo

10. movie: pop corn

11. halloween: glow-in-the-dark skeletons

12. sex: saving it for prince charming

13. religion: 2-faced

14. hate: "...is a strong word," says my sensei

15. fear: of heights

16. marriage: terrifies men

17. blondes: i have their moments, too, sometimes

18. slippers: havaianas (which i can only wear at home for fear of the fashion police)

19. shoes: good 1s take you to good places

20. asians: peace signs

21. pastime: daydreaming

22. one night stand: diseases

23. my cell phone: internet!

24. smoke: *coughs*

26. college: celebrity teachers

27. high school life: too much drama

28. pajamas: comfy

29. stars: honey stars cereal!

30. fitness center: muscles and artificial tans

31. alcohol: kills brain cells

32. the word "love": is overused (guilty here!)

33. friends: few but true

34. money: makes the world go round

35. heartache: pills

36. time: precious

37. divorce: it's ruining my life!!!

38. dogs: seem to like humping on my leg and it's weird

39. undies: cotton

40. parents: funny

41. babies: even their poop smell nice

42. ex: ex-terminate (clever, eh? lol!)

43. song: #44

44. color: "i'm blue daba-dida-bada..."

45. weddings: white

46. pizza: grease

47. hangout: hermit land (the house)

48. resto: clinking glasses

49. goal: mine changes from time to time

50. inspiration: random things

tagging abou, aleli, amicus, annah, aracir, aryo, angelo, berlai, bryan anthony 1, cate subrosa, carlotta, ccigaux, ced, chase, ciara, claudia, cuppa jo, dakota, denis, dennis v, dodong, dongho, ely, emz, erica, ever, ghee, gibb, girlie, grace, hannah, jasper, jassy, jerseytjej, jesa, jhoice, joshua, kenia, kenneth, kris jasper, krisha, lance, lawstude, liza, louise, lucas, marie, mark, matt, melle, meow, mhaye, mussolini, nepoleon, nicole linette, nikki, paulette, rajesh, renny, richard, russ, rusty, sandy, satya, scott, shoshana, sidney, tikno, tim, tutubi, vanny, victor, wedding glitters, wendiva, windy, zenchef, zingtrial, and some facebook friends. (i hope you play!)

to walk before the men again

(an old watercolor **** framed)

was i daydreaming when my high scool history teacher taught the value of women in philippine society before christianity arrived and changed everything? what a (pleasant) surprise to read in textbooks, a few years later, that filipino women weren't always looked down on as 2nd-class citizens throughout our history.

before spain colonized the islands, (mis)using catholicism as a front, women held good standing in communities. in fact our women were "free" way before american and european women began fighting for equality among sexes...

books say early filipino women were exalted (dinadakila), prized, and respected; and laws recognized their rights. girls and women even walked a few steps before the men so that the gents could protect the ladies from any possible harm along the way (sweet in an old fashioned way, but definitely better than walking behind towering guys).

it was during the spanish rule that filipino women were stripped of their privilages and inequality started. this part i know well but it's a long, ugly story. the thinking was: women were to submit to their husbands, as men submitted to spanish priests (who were secretly raping the men's wives, by the way... oops?), as priests submit to god (supposedly).

centuries later, a few other europeans arrived to conquer; the japs followed (hello, grannies); and then the americans. the filipina is changed forever.

although what is so deeply rooted cannot be changed easily in only another hundred years (which is understandable even if feminists argue), i'm just happy that girls and women didn't always suffer harassment, sexist remarks (i.e., "women are bad drivers"), and the like throughout our country's history. there's even hope here, right?

the late supper/experiment

...which no1 else wanted to eat. hahaha.

this evening i made my own meal because i'm the only person in the family who can't stand the smell, taste, and texture of pork meat (please don't hate me if you're a fan of lechón and/or pork chops).

the resident bully (my younger brother), who already had dinner with the rest of the family, says my food looks like mess. he made sure to make it sound like brain is the main course. haha.





it was decent stuff, though—for a kitchen rookie. i put my heart into it (not literally, silly!) and the flavors i craved 2 hours ago, i tried putting in the hot pot (i'm really not sure how it's called... pot? hot pot? cooking pot?).

oh, i think i now have a secret rice recipe, too!

3some tag

tagged by a friend in facebook.

3 NAMES FRIENDS CALL YOU:

1. acey(-chan)
2. aciang
3. jayssan

3 MOST IMPORTANT DATES IN YOUR LIFE:

1. the day i ran away and took a plane to meet him
   
2. the weekend he took off to take care of me
   
3. his 1st and last visit, about 2 years ago
   

3 THINGS YOU'VE DONE IN THE LAST 30 MINUTES:

1. wake up
2. brush teeth
3. eat breakfa... er... lunch

3 WAYS TO BE HAPPY:

1. eat
2. eat
3. eat

3 PEOPLE YOU MISS:

1. ****
2. cousins in the other side of the world
3. college friends and a few friends from grade school
   

3 GIFTS YOU WOULD LIKE TO RECEIVE:

1. a small, lightweight digi-cam
   
2. takeshi kaneshiro in a big box (hehehe!)
3. a trip around the world

3 FAVORITE HOBBIES:

1. cooking
2. painting
3. reading

3 PLACES YOU WANT TO GO FOR VACATION:

1. gion, japan
2. the nile, egypt
3. withsunday islands, australia

3 FAVORITE DRINKS:

1. anything chocolaty
2. ginger ale
3. thai tea

3 THINGS IN YOUR BAG:

1. breath mints
2. perfume
3. wallet

3 FAVORITE COLORS:

1. gold
2. green
3. royal blue

3 FAVORITE HANGOUTS:

1. the mall because it has book havens, cinemas, coffee shops, furniture stores, and restaurants
2. galleries
3. anywhere but places with too much noise (i.e., bars) or too many people (like the waterfront's lobby)

3 PEOPLE YOU LOVE SO MUCH:

1. ****
2. family
3. friends

3 MATERIAL THINGS SPECIAL TO YOU:

1. cards, letters, and notes from ****
   
2. my humble collection of trinkets
3. my journals

3 REASONS WHY YOU ANSWERED THIS SURVEY:

1. because some1 tagged me
   
2. boredom/for fun
   
3. this tag is easy to answer
   

my turn to tag everybody! hehehe.

my friend is right

false alarm

oops. in the prior post, i said the foreign service exams will be on tuesday the 10th, but i guess what really happened is that i mistook may 10 for march 10 and panicked. i'm very sorry; my bad.

that doesn't mean i won't study and catch up on the current events of the world, though (i feel like i've taken a vacation in mars and have been away too long). in a way, i'm relieved i have time to prepare (thank you, life!). i'm not ready for any big exam on tuesday anyway. plus i'm obviously still rather disoriented (so much for feeling like i'm finally truly awake, ne? haha!).

you're still gonna include me in your prayers, right?

a girl can dream

(maybe a girl can make things happen, too?)

like the long list of things i've completely forgotten while on pills for insomnia, etc., i've completely forgotten about the foreign service exams which will lead me a step closer to my now-not-so-secret dream of becoming a diplomat. and the 1st qualifying test will be in *gulps* 3 days...!

funny how i'm finally and truly awake now, too. i waited for over a month since i quit my job (to recover from what seemed like many things making me sick) to be free of the sort of sleep that wrapped my head in plastic even in physical wakefulness (sorry; i'll stop now). all i needed, after all, was a growing inner panic to bug me up from my long, black dream of endless blankness.

this ditz has exactly 2 days to prepare my already rusty brain cells, required documents, everything! here's some of the stuff i need to study and review:

• tagalog (a.k.a. the national language)
  
• philippine history, culture, foreign policy, geography, government, development issues and goals
• international economics and trade, international politics, international law and treaties
• world history

and i may also have to cram-in a new language: although my japanese is kawaii (nyahaha!), i can't read hiragana and katakana to save my life. hahaha. so help me, god (pretty please?).

please don't wish me luck; help me pray for a miracle. hehe. thank you in advance!

alice in haute couture land

if only i had any idea that the american vogue recreated my most beloved story as a little girl in its december 2003 editorial...!

where was i anyway? being another alice in another kind of land, too occupied dealing with grown ups, high school, nuns, and puberty altogether to appreciate the art—in its many fabulous forms—in fashion magazine spreads (which i look at once in a while for girly "guidance"). heh. that explains missing 1 of—in my little opinion—this mag's classics.














doesn’t alice look great in that royal blue helmut lang dress?

the photos are by annie leibovitz [you might remember her for the john lennon and yoko ono rolling stone cover taken 5 hours before the beatle died or from the controversial miley cyrus half-nude portraits for vanity fair, which i was guilty of liking. and until i came across this set on the great wide web, my leibovitz favorite was that of sofia coppola and her father for a louis vuitton campaign.].

it may already be kind of late to go gaga over something from 2003 (i'd even be condemned if i were a serious follower of fashion), but i just love this editorial! i think this russian girl natalia something-nova is painfully gorgeous(!) and perfect as fashion wonderland's alice. it's also not everyday that we see designers dress up fairytale characters and as fairytale characters... whoever came up with this inspired thing must have a brilliant brain.

PS: thank you, dapper kid!

sorry for scaring any1 by posting my mug

in real life i looked like a cross between botox disaster and, as my younger siblings described it, just having some1 beat the crap out of me. hahaha. i even almost made my poor kid sister cry by smiling!

but the great news is that my bloated face is shrinking back. even if all the swelling hadn't left yet, i'm relieved i'm no longer "pan de sal head". yay!



lol.

thank god!!! and thank you...! you were able to tell it's allergy and helped me. (this is only 1 thing i love about blogging and nice blogging buddies!)

earlier today at my doctor's, we found out it's a late allergic reaction to aspirin which i'm taking as blood thinner (to prevent heart attacks and blood clots). in my head, i happily hopped like a little hyper bunny as it meant i can still have crab meat and shrimp (hehe!), and that i'm getting better from this thing.

even greater news is that my heart is well. it may still be beating faster than it should be, but we're getting to the goal. i can't wait to finally know what a normal heart beat is like.

love at 1st bite

even if it were saddam hussein who brought shawarma into the islands, i would still like him. haha. these things are tasty...!



the shaved meat is dark and smoky; the salad (including its dressing—what is it made of, by the way?) is contrastingly sharp but zingy; and the simplicity of a "sandwich" makes it amazing (to me, at least—hehe). i could eat a dozen shawarmas this afternoon!